ellen

I don't really know what to write about. I'm kind of in that phase when you're too tired to fall asleep and too exhausted to actually do something. But what is there to do at this hour anyway? The clock or even time fot that matter are no friends of mine, they seem to have something against me. I'm lying in an almost dead/zombie-like position and can't bring myself to sleep. My alarm clock is set at 06.30 but I know that I'm just fooling myself. I'm never gonna be ready set sharp at that horrifying time, rather the opposite. It's a hallelujah-moment if I'm even up twenty minutes before the bus arrives. The big and main issue is always What to wear? I'm one of those who get panic attacks the day before and it usually ends with me whining about it and regretting all day long. But I still think I'm normal because I know that this is common and that I'm not the only one to feel this way.
Well, I guess it's time to give it another shot, I'm off to dreaming. Of someone special? No, I'll probably make a distinct and punctual list of how I will catch the bus without having to run the last 400 meters. It's a performance of one kind, hard to fulfill.
But someday, I will...